There’s a faulty belief that sometimes runs through restaurants: kindness is a luxury we get to offer once everything else is handled. Once the floor is set, the cover count is manageable, the team is in a good mood, and the day has been kind to us. Then we’ll be kind back.
And the list of reasons we keep waiting is endless. You’ve had a hard day, it’s raining out, the world is scary, your boss is mean to you, the host didn’t show up, you’re too busy…
But every need doesn’t have to be filled, and every emotion doesn’t have to be in place, before we’re capable of being kind. We don’t need enough money, enough confidence about the future, and enough of everything else we’re chasing before we can find the space to offer someone else a hand.
The opposite is true. Kindness is the foundation, not the reward, for everything else being handed to us. Extending ourselves first, to the team, to the guest, to the line cook having a hard night, is what makes the rest of the shift possible. Kindness creates the surplus we thought we needed before we could be kind.